We naturally tend to focus on the injections, medications, treatment protocols, and procedures when a couple is going through fertility treatment. Everything else can fall to the side including intimacy between partners. But what if fertility treatment can actually create deeper levels of intimacy? 

Fertility treatment can actually be a catalyst to draw upon each other and build a deeper connection.

As a fertility nurse, we discuss specific timing for sex and how it relates to a fertility cycle, but more often than not when sitting with partners, we also end up opening channels of communication where no topic is taboo or off limits.

Instead of looking at sex as a requirement that is being watched, timed, and tested, we can focus on intimacy exercises using words, touch, taste, and visual cues to bring it back to the couple. Here are a few suggestions:


Allow space for nerves, tears, worries, and fear, but process it together as a couple. Resentment can build if one partner feels as if they are carrying most of the emotional burden. Lay together in a cozy bed with no expectation of sex or take a warm bath together – just to talk.

Remember To Have Fun

As stressed as you may feel, it’s okay to keep it light sometimes and remember how to have fun. Plan a fun activity together or short weekend trip to get away from it all so you can reconnect. Blowing off steam through laughter and lightheartedness is a great way to back build intimacy.

Try These Prompts

  • Name one thing you love about your partner.
  • Share your favorite spot you like to be touched.
  • Say what you need to feel treasured by your partner.
  • If there is one thing your partner does for you to make you feel great, tell him/her what it is.
  • Say, “I’d rather you don’t do _____, but I love when you do _____.”
  • Holding hands, running fingers through hair, back rubs, kissing, cuddling, grabbing each other in a quick embrace, joking around, teasing, showing appreciation, giving massages are all great ways to create deeper levels of intimacy.

By triggering positive energy between partners, you can reconnect, have a better understanding, and find incredible layers of deep intimacy together before, during, and after fertility treatment.

Linda Scruggs BSN, RN has specialized for 15 years in fertility, reproductive medicine, and women’s health. As a nurse, patient educator, and solo mother of two children, she shares personal experience with high-risk pregnancies. Connect with Linda on Instagram at @metrointegrative and @unboxedmom where she serves as a resource to empower and educate women seeking wellness for themselves and their families.

This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions about your medical condition. The information in this article is for educational purposes only.